Not a technology post today, more of a personal reflection at a sad time. In my agency bio, I mentioned a high school prank that landed a mention of me on the 11:00 news after “disrespecting” our school’s special guest with a whipped cream pie in the face. Thought it might be appropriate to explain how that came to pass…
The year was 1991. Ragsdale High School, Jamestown, North Carolina. Teachers vs. Students Trivia Quiz Fun Night in the school auditorium. Packed house. Little on the boring side, so the seniors decide we need to spice things up a bit.
One of the guys received a ticket prize for a chance to toss a whipped cream pie across the stage at the losing team. Everybody digs in their pockets for bills and change and we scrape up $40 for a sucker person to detour said whipped cream pie into the face of our special guest and Trivia Quiz Fun Night emcee, Rich Brenner, FOX8 sports anchor and parent of two students at our school. And who was that lucky sucker person? You guessed it. Moi. Shoot, $40 bucks is $40 bucks, and I would have done (just about) anything for a laugh back then. Fine tailored suit, 100% silk tie, camera-ready make-up, and carefully coiffed hair be damned.
It was my time to shine. I climb the stage, ticket in hand. The stage lights are bearing down on me. Hundreds of eager faces staring eagerly at me. My friends taking side bets as to whether or not I’ll really go through with it. A teacher hands me a big, fat whipped cream pie. Mr. Brenner (as he was known to me) all smiles, “Go ahead, Molly, give it a good toss over there!” He was so trusting of sweet little ole me…You see, I knew “Mr. Brenner” well, I played soccer with his daughter, he was a regular staple on the sidelines. He always gave great big teddy bear hugs, win or lose, always encouraging. All the soccer girls hung out together, often in their basement.
Thus, my knees were knocking. Palms sweating. Heart pounding. Hands shaking.
“How do I hold it, Mr. Brenner? Like this?” And I tilt the pie around in my right hand, away from the losing team, directly towards his fine tailored suit, 100% silk tie, camera-ready make-up, and carefully coiffed hair.
“Yup, just like that,” he said, smiling a great big teddy bear smile.
I went home with $40 in my pocket that night. He went to the 11:00 newscast with a (wet) fine tailored suit, (slightly) stained 100% silk tie, not-as-much camera ready make-up, and previously carefully coiffed hair, now crusty-whipped-cream-dried-sticking-up-in-spikes hair. But boy did I get some big laughs! From my friends in the audience whose $40 bucks I had just pocketed. Not so much from the school administration and parent volunteers who had put the event on.
All I did the whole way home was pray my parents stuck to their usual 9pm bed-time and weren’t waiting up for us to get home. I just knew someone had called to tell them what I had done. My sister and I rushed home…lights out, parents asleep. Shew, one hurdle avoided. Flip the TV on, news comes on…wait through 20 minutes of news until the sportscast. There’s Mr. Brenner…and my oh my…does he look….DIFFERENT can you say! So much so, his co-anchors have a great laugh at his expense and he has to explain why he looks so disheveled - thanks to his friend, Molly Hodgin! What?!? I made the NEWS?!? Sweet! I just went legend! $40 in my pocket AND I made the news! That’s high school history right there, folks.
But that was Friday night. Come Monday morning, sitting in Physics class minding my own beeswax, taking notes. In comes a student from the Principal’s office, he needs to see Molly Hodgin. Teacher literally does a double-take - “Who?” Folks, Molly Hodgin never once got called to the Principal’s office in 12 years of schooling. A hush falls over the classroom. Someone plays a trumpet death march as I make my way across the room.
Worst 20 minutes of my life (well, maybe not so much) sitting in the principal’s office getting lectured about disrespecting the school’s special guest, did I know how much fine tailored suits and 100% silk ties cost and I needed to call and apologize (too late, my dad already made me do that over the weekend) and offer to pay to have everything dry cleaned (dad made me do that, too.) Mr. Brenner ever-so-politely declined my offer. Shew. Would have cost me WAY more than $40 bucks!
Mr. Brenner passed away yesterday at the age of 65. I’m so sorry to hear about that. I will always remember what a big teddy bear he was. And that he was still my friend, even after I stuffed a whipped cream pie in his face for $40 bucks and an epic laugh. Rest in peace.